“Save the Planet”..NO, save me from the planet!

From the title of this blog you might think that this is gonna be some anti-hippy rant that critisizes, what i believe to be, pretentious bean eating cardigan wearers who try to force thier “idealistic delusions” onto everyone else……and you’re absolutely spot on!

However, this blog is not gonna focus on the actual issues surrounding the environment i.e. globa warming, rainforset etc etc. Likewise it won’t be an endictment on society or government behaviour/attitude and how it effects the world we live in today or the world we will live in tomorrow.

Instead I’d like to focus on the mission of these ecologically concerned, well meaning….cocksuckers. I want to complain about the mantra these people use to preach their message and attain thier overall goal. This mission can be summed up in 3 simple words….”SAVE THE PLANET!”

We’ve all heard it said before, in fact we’ve probably all said it before ourselves. It’s become one of those accepted phrases in modern society, a piece of standard rhetoric which rolls off the tongue with ease and can be injected into a conversation without ever being questioned or challenged by anyone ever. It’s like the words “War on Terror”, “Beans on Toast” or “Kill Gary Bushell”…we’re so used to saying and hearing “Save the Planet” that it’s become as big a part of our daily routine as having a shit or blinking…however, like having a shit, saying the words “save the planet” shouldn’t be allowed in public…it’s just not right and people don;t need to have such an act forced upon them against thier will…if they want to do it behind close doors with consenting adults then that’s fine by me…but i’m not gonna tolerate this anymore (saying save the planet, not having a shit)

Now before you start thinking that I’m suggesting that Global Warming doesn;t exist and the future is all rosy STOP! I’m not gonna do that. Niether am I gonna say “Fuck the planet, I’ll be dead long before all this shit gets out of hand!” whilst i am a self confessed “selfish bastard” who has little or no concern for anything or anybody that’s not me…I do have some respect in me…not much, but enough to stop me killing 6 million Jews or voting BNP just for a laugh. I have already written blogs (which if your a new subscriber are still on here for you to read) about my opinions on Global warming and my attitude to the different sides of the climate change argument and i have no desire to repeat or go over them again…at least not until i change my mind. It’s not the “saving of the planet” that i’m objecting to here, it’s people who that we need to “save the planet”…hear me out…

For anyone who wants to ” save the planet” i want you to consider the following pieces of information which i am about to share with you.

(n.b. the following collection of words are arranged and presented in a way that will offend and annoy anyone of a mental/intellectual disposition who thinks that The Bible, and not Science, is the most reliable source for the historical background of the world. I am not going to cater or compromise my writings so that rearded people can understand them…grow up or fuck off!)

The Planet is currently 4 billion years old (that’s a rough figure and as of yet the exact birthday of the planet cannot be confirmed). Now to put 4 billion years of history and to demonstrate how long humans have been around for in perspective for you, look at it this way; If the history of the earth, all 4 billion years, was compacted into a 24 hour period of time, human beings would not appear until 23 hours 58 minutes and 43 seconds had passed by…leaving us 1 minute and 17 seconds of time on earth…that means in the history of the earth human beings have only been around for 0.891% of the time. Now i don’t think that humans are THAT destructive…I know that we have a bigger impact on any environment that we inhabit more than any other species but I can’t believe that we can fuck up a 4 billion year old eco system in under 1% of the time…i could be wrong…but how often does that happen? (the answer is “Never”)

People are always blamed for killing off animals and wiping entire species of the face of the earth and condemning them to the history books. I’m not gonna say that we haven’t done that, of course we have. There are many animals and plants that, for one reason or another, are exstinct or endangered due to human beings either killing them on purpose or crushing thier environment…that’s totally true. But it’s not all our fault that animals have died out and gone extinct, in fact statistically 25 different species of living creature go extinct every single day…that’s more than one an hour! Funny how no-one ever moans or whines about them isn’t it? funny how it’s only the dolphin or panda or seal that gets all the press coverage…I hear people crying for the Whale but no-one ever protests on behalf of the depeltion of the Cod do they?…why is that? The other point on this is the fact that science (yes science, not the bible) has proven that of all the species that have existed throughout the entire history of the world…90%…thats 90% have become extinct….Now we didn;t fucking kill them all did we? NO! most of them died out before we were here for Christ sake! The dinosaurs didn;t get wiped out because they decided to all drive around in 4×4’s and Gas guzzling Land Rovers did they?…no, they ended up creating the oil which we humans use today…ironic or what?

Other facts about the earth’s history include the polar ice caps having already melted and reformed…….6 times! That’s a lot of melting and re-freezing in my opinion and certainly more than enough evidence to suggest that the current rising sea levels are not exactly the “Noahs Ark/Doomsaday/Revelations” shit that we are constantly told they are.

Underneath the Ice that makes up the arctic is a massive area of land that used to be a lush and tropical rainforest. Most of the animals that inhabited this jungle either died off or left as the temperature dropped. One of the animals that stayed there and adapted to the new sub-zero climate was…the penguin! Now ask yourself this; if a penguin can adapt from a tropical rainforest to a baron ice land of -120 degrees…surely humans can do the same? if not adapt physically then surely we can create something tha makes such a climate tolerable and easier to live in…it’s not beyond us surely? and if it is beyond us then can’t we accept our fate? Maybe our time is up…we’ve had a good run…well actually we haven’t seeing as we’ve barely existed for 1% of the Earths history BUT…my point is this…

…given this planets place in the solar system, it’s billion year old past, it’s constantly changing climate, it’s many interesting and extinct inhabitants and the fact that it’s a seriously massive fucking rock…what makes you think it needs “saving”?…why do you believe that the planet is coming to an end?…Are you worried that the changing climate will destroy the planet and remove it from existence completely?…cos if you are, you are seriously underestimating this planet.

You need to stop patronising this incredible round boulder that spins around the galaxy and realise, once and for all, that you can’t “save the planet” because it doesn’t need saving…I would bet anything and anyone on that fact…The planet does not need saving….

…The same cannot be said, howevber, for all the poor fuckers currently living on it! We’re the ones who are fucked my friends, we’re the ones that are coming to an end and we are the ones in dire need os saving!

I’m sure that if the dinosaurs had our intelligence, and ability to speak, then they also would have felt that they should help out mother earth. They too would have been running around campaigning for the government to do something to prevent that big fucking asteroid from hitting the earth and killing them all. Their government, like ours, would have introduced a series of ineffective stealth taxes to “help”. They would have had a massive concert called “Dino-Aid” in order to raise awareness and try to make a difference…they would have shouted and exclaimed that they, like us, were trying to “Save the Planet”…and even though they had very low intelligence and couldn;t do these things the dinosaurs, just like humans will do one day, died out completely without so much as a flinch from the planet…not a fucking scratch…what makes us so arrogant as to assume that when we die out the planet will collapse and evapourate into nothing?

Stop trying to “save the planet”…it’s fine…We are the ones that are 100% fucked!

That’s it from me. Hope you’ve learnt something and if you haven’t then i suggest you seek psychiatric help right away.

All the best Richard “4 miles to the gallon” Coughlan

Thoughts that come into my mind whilst experiencing boredom.

You know those 72 virgins that Muslim suicide bombers are supposed to get after they’ve blown themslves up…has anyone ever specified that these virgins were female? I haven’t myself…come to think of it, how do we know that they’re even human? It just says “72 Virgins”…It could turn out to be a huge pile of dead squirrels or a wheely bin filled with aborted feotus’

If I have one ultimate goal before I die it’s to not end being an organ doner. I find the idea of that very depressing…not the saving of anothers life by transplanting my bits and pieces into someone else, that’s wonderful. I would just prefer to be the person recieving the organ and not the one donating it…Why? How great would it make you feel to know that you have fucked up your body so badly that the best way to make you healtier is to replace all of your insides with another set they took from someone who was already dead! That must fucking annoy the doner…to know that you’re dying despite having vital parts of your body that are still in better condition than some arsehole stranger you never met before who’s gonna live to see tomorrow.

I get really annoyed when i hear stories about stupid people who sue certain companies that make a product which these stupid people enjoy so much that it nearly kills them…where is the logic here?
The biggest case was when tabacco firms were sued because some of thier customers, all of whom were voluntarily choosing to smoke cigarettes, started feeling a bit poorly and blamed the tabacco company for not warning customers that by breathing in several lung fulls of toxic gases mixed with nicotine and tar, 20 times a day, that they might feel a bit peeky after the 3rd decade or so…Did it ever occur to them that the possible reason that there was no warning is because maybe the tobacco firms, much like the retards paying them, didn’t know that thye gave you cancer either…why would you really? You should expect to feel ill but how would you know that smoking causes cancer until some unfortunate twat got cancer from smoking?
If I put my oven on a high heat and then climb into it for 45 minutes and suffer horrific burns and injuries as a result, can I sue the company that made the oven on the grounds that there was no warning on the oven stating that if you get into the oven whilst it’s on you may cause yourself some severe damage?…no i can’t do that and neither would I cause i’m not a twat and I can figure things out for myself.

My cigarette packet says “Smoking Kills”, not that it “may” or “could” but that it simply “does”…that’s a very bold claim to make…what if Smoking doesn’t eventually kill me? What if i die from something that’s completely unrelated to smoking? I think I should be allowed to sue the tabacco company on the grounds that they sold me a product that made promises and claims that were simply not true…it’s called the trades description act and their product hasn’t done what it’s packaging had described…Doesn’t this scenario make more sense when you do it this way round instead?

If disabled are “special” then what the fuck am I?

Why do men brag about having one night stands? don;t they realise what the phrase “one night stand” really says? I mean, if one night stands are that good…why do people only have one of them…why not a 2nd or a 3rd…if it was really that good why would you never go back? “One night stand” aka “Awful fuck”

If all men had small penises the world would be a better place, there would be no more paedophiles for one thing…forget the moral issue of having sex with a child, that’s nothing compared to the embarrassment you’d feel if you were fucking a 3 year old and half-way through it turned around and said “Is it in yet?”..I couldn;t live with that…not again.

BNP member vs Illegal Immigrant in a 3 round winner takes all fight!

Hello my friend.

This article is about the ultimate battle of pride and truth between 2 arch-enemies with so much hatred in them that you could bottle it…

The British Nationalist VS The Illegal Immigrant/refugee 
Now we can match up these 2 strongly opposed and contrasting groups (political, social, artisc, financial) and see which one is the best/useful/important etc etc. but based purely on facts and evidence, not opinion and assumption.
The main event is a true battle of the titans that many have wanted to see for as long as they can remember. It will determine who is the biggest burden to our society, who is the least valuble to our country and who should really be “sent back to where they came from”!!!!! Hold on to your colons cos this is gonna be a uglier than Mother Tereasa’s vagina…
IN THE RED WHITE AND BLUE CORNER!!!

Wearing the whitest shorts that have ever been made, weighing in at a weight that was measured in stones and ounces NOT kilos and hailing from GREAT BRITAIN WHERE THEY FUCKING BELONG…….THE BRITISH PATRIOT!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IN THE NON-WHITE CORNER!!!!

Wearing shorts that they’ve had on since they arrived here, weighing less than a photograph of themselves due to malnutrition and hailing from some shittywar torn building site lead by a facist regime that Britain put in years ago…THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!!!!!

DING-DING ROUND 1

This round is based on the origins of each contestant and how they came to be in this great land of ours.

The Patriotic Brit (PB) will bang on and on about how fucking “proud” they are and how they have such “pride” in being British…fair enough, but why is PB in this country and classified as “Britsh”…here’s why.

Many years ago PB’s Dad was riding the living shit out of his Mum, possibly in the back seat of his lime green ford capris. At some point during this sordid act he reached his “sexual climax” and the sound of his balls slapping against her thighs was replaced with an almost primal “OOOOOHHHHHH YEEEESSSSS!!!!”, which signified that he had just blown a good sized portion of his nut porridge right into your Mums fanny…and as 98% of his bollock contents dribbled down your mums inner-leg the rest would fertilise her egg and cause her to be “Up the duff”. 9 months later you are ready to leave but only cos by the time they knew about the pregnancy it was too late to abort legally. As you exit the womb you manage to tear your mums vagina to such a huge degree that it ends up being knocked through to her anus and becoming one massive bleeding casm that needs stitches, super glue and a soldering gun in order to put it back together. You are then removed covered in blood and pus with a bleeding belly cord that’s attatched to stinking, shitty placenta that your dad thinks is a retarded twin and he attempts to smile whilst swallowing his own vomit and not cry at the sight of his wifes obliterated minge…that’s why PB is here, that’s why PB is classified as “British” and this is what makes PB so proud…call me old fashioned but i have troubke beaming with pride whilst picturing the preceeding series of graphically described events.

The Illegal Immigrant (II) however is in this country through other means. II was not born here so they had to physically get here themselves. They didn’t want to but sadly, due to western military forces blowing up all the houses in their country, they had little options open to them. Their trip over here was also made harder by them having no/little finances and no more possessions…again due to guns and bombs being used to destroy them. Therefore they cant use public transport/trains in the conventional “buy a ticket and get a seat” kind of way, instead they use the less popular, more dangerous and very life threatening approach which involves being underneath the train entering Britain with only half a roll of Gaffa tape holding them in place or a long metal spike through the genitalia…that’s how they end up in this Country.

So it’s; Falling out of Mums pussy vs Attached to the Eurostar train by a 9 inch nail hammered through your cock!

WINNER……….THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!!!

PB – 0

II – 1

DING-DING ROUND 2

This round is about working attitude and job commitment.

This time Illegal Immigrant will go first.

You know all those really shit jobs? the ones that centre around doing and performing the shittest and least appealing tasks? that have no sense of creative or imaginative satisfaction in them? that need you to work for every hour God sends? and during the times of day when most others are relaxing/having fun? and reward you with the lowest and most insulting hourly wage that most “indigenous” Brits would not even have a wank for? The Jobs that no normal western person would ever want or even dream of doing….the II does them for you!! II cleans the toilets, washes up, sweeps the streets, serves the fast food and picks up all the shit that the population leave behind them…they do all the Jobs that the PB’s refuse to do for no other reason than to spare them denting thier pride. II’s are also 1000 times more committed and motivated to these shitty jobs than a PB, why? cos the PB takes the shitty low paid job knowing the choices they have are “shit job=bit of money vs no job=moaning parents and no cash” and whilst that can be motivating for them the II has the choices of…”shitty job and stay in UK vs get deported back to homeland and get executed by the heartless murderous facist government in power”…I have never been in that position but i reckon it would make the act of cleaning shit and piss off the floor much more desirable.

In the case of PB…oh dear.

PB believes that II is gonna come over here (nail through his cock) and, in thier own words, “steal his jobs”…but there is one major flaw in that belief.

There is no account or record or any evidence in any way shape or form of a PB’s job being “stolen” by an II…not one. The reason for that is because the very idea of a job being stolen is so stupid and ludicrous that no amount of human ignorance and stupidity could exist in order to make that statement valid, it’s simply not true or even close to reality. There has never been an incident in any work place, at least not in the UK, of a PB going into work one day, trying to clock in only to find thier card is missing. They then do not find that their locker key doesnt fit anymore and don’t realise that the photo of them on the staff room wall has gone and been replaced by a photo of some “strangely brown and darkly bearded” person. They are not then informed by the manager that their job was “stolen” that very morning by an unregistered immigrant called “Ahmed” or “Dave” for short…The PB isn’t then told that they cannot do anything about their job being stolen from them due to the governments recent passing of the “finders keepers, losers weepers work act” which states that all jobs can be legally stolen by an II but only within the preceeding10 minutes before a staff memebers shift is due to begin…if that has happened to you then either sue the company or kill yourself for being the stupidest person that has ever existed.

The Winner; Lazy excuse making PB vs Committed and motivated II!

The Winner….THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!!!!!

PB – 0

II – 2

DING-DING ROUND 3

This round focuses on commiting crimes and wrongly claiming benefits.

PB starts. They come out fast and furious with very hard hitting and damning figures about the effect II has on our society. The II commit more crime than a PB will, They claim/are given more benefits and handouts than a PB and they are responsible for the nearly total destruction of the “traditional British way of Life”…these are definately factors and arguments that go against the II’s case and destroy it’s reputation, at least they would damage II’s credibilty were it not for the fact that all these statements by PB had almost…in fact NO evidence or truth to them whatsoever! Apart from that one little snag PB has got a good point.

II comes fighting back with what is technically known as “facts” and “indisputable evidence”…something PB has real trouble coming to terms with. In London, for example, there was a recent study examining % of crimes commited by foreigners compared to British citizens…it found that 20% of all crime in London is carried out by foreigners, The publication then decided that this figure shows the extreme and dangerous side of immigration…which it would have done were it not for the findings of another comprehensive London based study which showed that roughly 40% of Londons entire population was comprised of foreigners…this proves that the foreign 40% of London is only causing 20% of the overall crime numbers, compare that to the “genuinely British” 60% which takes care of a whopping 80% of criminal acts…which proves that an II is less responsible for crime than a PB. Other devastating blows to the body of PB can include; The discovery in sept 2006 by Lancashire Police of, not only a rocket launcher, but also the biggest stash of chemical explosives ever siezed in the history of the UK EVER. These items were found not in the home of a muslim extremist or middle eastern terrorist…but in the houses if 2 white British men, a dentist and a school bus driver, who were both members of the BNP…that’s right, BNP, the group that claim to love this country intended to blow it up to a level it had never been been blown up to before! The other advantage that II has is the fact that Britain’s entire population are the descendants of people who came over here in a manner that you could describe as “unsporting”…i doubt that the Vikings applied for citizenship before the raping and pillaging got started don’t you think? There is also no real likelyhood that any of the invading cultures and armed foreign forces such as the Celts, Normans, Romans, Angles and the Saxons etc etc made absolutely sure that they had all the proper and official paperwork filled in and even took the time to learn fluent English before blending into Britains already existing society…call me a cynic if you will.

Result? The Lying, Law breaking, historically unaware PB vs An Ecomnomic contributer, law abiding, culture shaping and educated II?

THE WINNER…..THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!!!

PB – 0

II – 3

FINAL SCORE 3-0 TO “II”…

SO AFTER 3 GRUELLING ROUNDS OF HARD FOUGHT SOCIOLOGICAL ASS KICKIN’ WE HAVE A CLEAR WINNER!!! THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT IS OFFICIALLY AND WITHOUT ANY QUESTION MUCH MORE VALUBLE TO THE ECONOMY, BENEFICIAL TO SOCIETY AND LESS OF A BURDEN IN TERMS OF CRIME AND ILLEGAL ACTIVITY IN THE UK AND GREAT BRITAIN…

PATRIOTIC BRITS? THEY SAY YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONE YOU LOVE AND THAT IS THE CASE HERE. YOU MAY HAVE “NATIONAL PRIDE” BUT YOU SEVERELY LACK ANY GENUINE SENSE OF “PERSONAL PRIDE”…THIS COUNTRY IS NOT CALLED “GREAT” BECAUSE YOU LIVE HERE…IT’S GREATNESS COMES FROM THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE EFFORT AND SHOW REAL COMMITMENT TO MAKE BRITAIN THE SUPERPOWER IT IS…THE FACT IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE “PROUD” OF THEIR NATIONALALITY ARE SECRETLY “ASHAMED” OF THEMSELVES AND THEIR LIVES.

Well ladies and Gentleman it’s been a fight night to remember and I hipe you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed calling it.

All the best from Richard “I’m so fast last night I switched my bedroom light off and was asleep before the room went dark” Coughlan.

The best way to deal with Global Warming!

I don’t know about you but for me the phrase “Global Warming” is getting to a level of “word fatigue” that is close to “War on Terror” “Weapons of Mass Destruction” and “Muslim extremist”. I’m sick of hearing about it every fucking day.

I particularly hate it when some preachy, natural fibre wearing, smooth skinned, middle class twat with a messianic complex writes abook about it. I’ve lost count of the amount of books that bang on about the dangers of global warming. If you care about the environment that fucking much then prove it by sparing the millions of trees that will be cut down in order to make the pages, spare the earths atmosphere the huge emmissions that come from the paper mill that will be caused, stop heating up the planet with the exhaust fumes from the lorries that will deliver your work to the shops, or the adverts that require us to leave our Tv sets on and waste energy…just fuck off basically, if you are that concerned then find a chalk cliff and write on the face of it in your own shit, at least that way i know you’ve got integrity.

However, if you’ve written a book that denies Global Warming or questions the causes of it then you can publish a book, and use a font so massive that you needlessly waste tonnes of paper, use a highly toxic and poisonous ink and sell it with a promise that for every book sold 1 gallon of oil will be chucked in the sea. Maybe then people will start to take you seriously.

This is the problem with Global Warming, it’s not that people find it confusing and it’s nothing to do with a lack of concern for the planet, it’s the fact that not caring about it will make you a fuck sight better off than caring deeply for it. The people who claim that GW is something that is going to happen and has always happened, without any/much of it down to human activity, have a very powerful weapon within their argument that Eco-friendly GW activists don’t have…that’s less tax increases and less extra effort to put in.

In this world today we are taxed on and for everything from Air travel, Bins, Councils, Drinking, Education fees, Facist regimes abroad, GM food, Housing, Income, Jeffery Archers 4 years, Keeping animals, London’s doomed Olympics, Motorised transport, National “health” service, Oil, Police service, Quango’s, Religion, Space missions, Transport services, Unemployed on benfits, Vivisection clinics, Wars, Xmas, Yearly Interest rates and right up to the Zionist propaganda to promote terrorist state Israel….and much more on top of that!

All these costs put together can make you realise why people are dismissive of GW and don’t take an interest in it, doing so would mean more taxes and making the effort to seperate out your rubbish for recycling…and no-one wants to do that, most don’t really have the time to and all would rather the council did it for us which is why we pay them taxes in the first place.

The other problem with GW is more a question of integrity, morality and high ethical standards which you don’t want to compromise or have questioned. But that is what will happen if you embrace GW, because doing so means you have joined forces…with…THEM! Who?…THEM!…FUCKING HIPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it’s hard to accept…i know you think there must be another way…i know that this is possibly the hardest thing you’ve ever been asked to do in your life ever! You think of all those times you’ve taken the piss out of a or several Hippies, you recollect all the insults and jokes and derisory laughter which you hurled at these people, they are nothing more than deluded, anally rententive, spoilt, pretentious, lazy, Left wing facists with savage B.O. stupid clothes, mountains of pubic hair and serving less purpose on this earth than the AIDS virus…who it turns out, after 40 years of whinging and farting, were right all along…Can you bring yourself to admit it? I fucking can’t! But here’s the good news…You don’t have to because I have a much better strategy to deal with GW and it keeps both sides happy.

The Right say that GW is something that we cannot stop, it’s just the Earths natural cycle of change which has happened since the beginning of time, the ice caps have melted and reformed 6 times in the past, that only 2-3% of all carbon emissions in the atmosphere are the result of human activity and that means no matter what I or anyone else does nothing is gonna change…ok.

The Left say that whilst GW is a natural process it has been speeded up to a dangerously high rate, the ice caps are melting faster and as a result sea levels have risen and will continue to do so, animals are becoming extinct faster, sea temperatures are rapidly increasing, the depleting oil reserves should be used more wisely and more efficiently, recycling is mandatory, cars must be more fuel efficient and we have to act now and if we don’t then our grandchildren and great grandchildren will all be paying the price for our excesses…ok

So here’s the deal. I will continue to do nothing about GW at all, in fact I will actively force myslef to waste more energy, burn more fossil fuels, fly short haul, do no recycling what-so-ever and leave every electrical appliance I have in the house turned on 24/7/365 including appliances which i never use or require at any point of my life. This should keep the Right side happy…BUT…

…As the Left are convinced that doing all that will ultimately cause the planet to heat up faster, make sea levels rise and flood the land, increase the levels of toxic and poisonous chemicals in both the sea and the air thus making the earth uninhabitable for future generations…In order to make them happy i have decided not to produce any future generations! ok? That’s my plan, I will prevent the suffering of future generations of my family by makinjg sure that they’re aren’t there in the first place. When i die then so does my families future. It’s no longer my problem and I have no reason to feel guilty.

I advise you to consider doing the same, think about it for a second. How about instead of trying to fix a problem we don’t understand whilst having no guarantees that it is repairable and we can reverse it…lets just call it a day on the human race, we had a good run and did very well for ourselves…NOW LET’S WRECK THE FUCKING PLACE AND RUNAWAY BEFORE THE NEW OWNERS GET HERE!!!!

All the best Richard “Apocolypse” Coughlan

Why does COMEDY iNC exist?

Putting on a high quality live comedy show is the easiest thing in world to do. All you need is; a few big name acts, a nice venue, a shit load of flyers & posters and a few local press contacts…that is it!

This is the easiest way to attract a big audience 99.9% of the time…why? because successfully promoting a show full of “big names” is like trying to find a website containing hardcore pornography…anyone who fails is either dead, in a freezer, made of  papier mache or the imaginary friend of a spastic. 

There is nothing that I find impressive about Manchester United selling 75,000 home tickets every week…they should sell out with ease, they have the best of everything…Now if Alex Ferguson could sell out Middlesbrough’s home ground every week THEN i’d be impressed…

…This is the primary philosophical purpose for Comedy Inc. We want to show our audiences that there are “big name” acts and then there are “big talent” acts. I think that stand-up comedy will only ever advance artistically when more promoters take the next generation and give them a level playing field with the “big names”…They could all become “big names” one day, so lets give them an oppurtunity to prove just that…take a chance on so-called “unknown” acts and soon, thanks to you, they could be the next “big-name”…

That is exactly what Comedy inc has been doing since we began back in January this year. Comedy inc has showcased many of the next generation of comedians such as;

Andrew Watts, Del Strain, Carl Donnelly, Tomi Walamies, Matt Green, Mike Bekgrave, Andy Watson, James Sherwood, Donald Mack, Imran Yusuf, Andi Osho, Ava Vidal, James kettle, Nick Pettigrew, Nat Lurtsema & not forgetting Mr Comedy Inc himself Richard Coughlan.

When you are eventually hearing about any or all of these guys as comedies “big names” then I hope you remember who it was that told you tht they would..

COMEDY iNC.                                                                                                         “The future of stand up comedy is finally here”  

 

Welcome to Comedy Inc!!!

Welcome to the comedy inc blog – here we’ll be listening all the latest news and reviews for Comedy Inc gigs, be giving you the chance to post your own reviews, and providing an outlet for Sir Richard Coughlan’s delectable writings all for your very own pleasure!