One of the current “hot button” issues which seems to be in every paper everyday is the so-called “Binge drinking culture” of Britain.
Now first off i think that the press and other media outlets need to drop the “culture” part of that phrase, grammatically it’s the equivalent of a bald mans comb over, it’s trying hard but ultimately the desired effect is not accomplished. During the 1980’s the discovery of AIDS was not referred to as “The buttfuckers genocidal alternative lifestyle choice”…they called it “Gay Plague” which I do not condone but at least they didn’t try any futile attempt to make it sound pleasant or interesting.
There is nothing about binge drinking that can be considered cultural. There are 5 definitions of “culture”, they are…
1. The quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc.
When you are completely paraletic on booze the primary concepts which you will not be able to fathom in anyway are arts, letters, manners and scholary pursuits.
2. that which is excellent in the arts, manners, etc.
Same as above, however as they have used the term “etc” at the end this leaves the definition open to some degree of interpretation…not enough to include abusing the employees of a Kebab house and whilst your piss dries into your trousers.
3. a particular form or stage of civilization, as that of a certain nation or period: Greek culture.
Binge drinking destroys all elements of civility and the closest you’ll get to Greek culture is ordering a tub of humous with your large mixed kebab.
4. development or improvement of the mind by education or training.
This one really needs no explaining.
5. the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.
This one is close but binge drinking is not a characteristic of a “particular” group in society, it’s a chracteristic of EVERY group in society and is too widespread in it’s appeal to classify as culture.
So let’s cut this bullshit out and start dealing with facts and use a bit of common sense.
Tim Martin, multi-millionaire owner of pub chain JD Wetherspoons, spoke out yesterday in several newspapers about what he believes to be the root cause of all this binge drinking…He confessed that it was largely due to his nation wide and very low-priced drinking establishments providing alcohol at prices which made binging very easy and convinient…HA HA HA ONLY JOKING!
Of course he didn’t say that, that would be stupid wouldn’t it? How could anyone possibly blame Tim Martin and his 668 alcohol supply centres which fill the landscape of the UK from John-o-groats to landsend?
What twisted logic could lead anyone to suggest that JDW have any links whatsoever to the immensely increased levels of consumption of booze by everyone in this country from John-o-groats to landsend?
No, that theory is complete poppycock according to Tim Martin. In fact he revealed yesterday that the biggest contributing factor to this anti-social epidemic is….Badly Behaved Celebrities…Well what else could it be? There is absolutely no other possible explanation is there.
Tim Martin, a man making roughly £38m profit a year selling alcohol for the lowest price possible to the lowest paid people every single day, thinks that it’s all the fault of that heartless bitch Amy Winehouse and that monster Pete Doherty…They’re irresponsibly reckless behaviour and glamourisation of the over-indugence of drink&drugs has made everyone in country a mindless out of control piss-head…Well i think we can all agree that Tim’s argument is pretty fucking water tight eh?…
…FUCK OFF TIM MARTIN YOU MEDICINE BALL HEADED , MULLET SPORTING, SPASTIC SOUNDING, DOWNE SYNDROME FACED LYING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHO THE FUCK WANTS YOUR OPINION ON THIS ANYWAY? HOW ON EARTH DID YOU EARN YOURSELF OVER £300 MILLION WHEN CLEARLY YOU ARE BORDERLINE RETARDED?…TWAT!!!!!
Deep breath….phew…Let me draw this out for Tim in big crayon with lots of pictures and colours…ready? GO!
Do you honestly believe that if we lived in a world without Winehouse, Doherty, Gallagher or Charles Kennedy that the rest of us plebs would not drink to excess? Maybe we would even forget what the fuck alcohol actually is. Then our memories would erase all knowledge that alcohol ever existed, we’d jog, run, count calories, eat carrots and live for over 175 years until we all died peacefully in our sleep with massive erections…or d’you that might just be a load of fucking bollocks Tim?
People, on the whole, are very shallow and weak BUT the idea that binge drinking is a “fad” which is “fashionable” is totally delusional and is completely without any foundation or substantive proof at all.
It’s a myth and a fallacy that gets trotted out ad infinitum by people like you, all of whom are trying desperately to pass the baton of blame onto something else in the hope that it stops people from blaming YOU!…well it may have fooled some people Tim but not this hombre right here.
You’re sounding very much like the guy from the movie “Thank You for not smoking”…you’re lying Mr Martin, you are a bastard liar!
Here’s a question;
If “celebrity binge drinking” is the direct cause of “pleb binge drinking” then what is the direct cause of “celebrity binge drinking”?
Who or What has influenced them and caused them to be so dangerously excessive?
Celebs were normal people at one time, how come they have to carry the guilt of every wankered degenerate in this country?
It seems unfair to me that John & Jane Knob-head can get slaughtered safe in the knowledge that they can blame Amy & Pete…whilst Amy & Pete can’t blame anyone else other than themselves…which means they carry thier own burdens AND the general alco-populations…
Well then surely if Amy & Pete, whose behaviour everyone is apparently copying, have enough dignity, pride and strength to blame themselves for their actions and take responsibility for them + 25 million total strangers, then how come nobody is copying that behaviour?
If they are capable of controlling this country into an alcoholics wet dream then surely they could impose a bit of maturity and confidence too.
See my point Tim?
Heres another;
Would Tim Martin have this same attitude and contempt for partying celebrities
if they were all drinking, socialising and getting photographed at JD Wetherspoons?
You never hear the owners of The Ivy, Tramps, Chinawhite or any other preferred celebrity clubs complaining about them do you? They’re not bothered by the puddles of sick left on thier entrance mat by Howard Donald and Gary Barlow.
And, how does Tim not know that these famous faces don’t ever drink in his pubs? With 668 of them in the UK it seems like the odds are quite high that a drunk celeb would at some point go into one.
If Amy winehouse goes down to her local “spoons” and gets mullered and is caught by the papparazi on her way out puking through her nostrils and it’s all over the tabloids the next day…then hasn’t Tim Martin just aided and abetted Amy in her insane quest to give as many people in this country chronic liver failure? is he not just as accountable as he accuses Amy of being?
The biggest problem i have with Tim Martin is the hypocrisy and double standard of the phrase “These Celebs fuel the binge drinking”…You Bell-end!
If the word “fuel” is going to applied to this issue and be representative of the most vital component needed in order for binge drinking to exist…then it’s FUCKING ALCOHOL YOU SPANNER!! How in the name of Cliff Richard’s swinging scrotum can anyone claim that binge drinking is “feulled” by celebrities..It’s fuelled by you Tim and it always has been, if we lived in a world where there was no alcohol and loads of celebrities would people binge drink?
NO! WHY? There’s no cunting booze is there…get it now?
Now consider this;
Tim Martin sells alcohol to people.
The people Tim is selling alcohol to gradually start buying & taking more alcohol.
Eventually lots of people are taking lots & lots Tim’s alcohol.
Tim blames this increased demand for alcohol on Partying Celebrities.
Tim is never blamed for the consequences of the alcohol he has sold.
Now take those 5 sentences but this time replace the word “alcohol” with “Smack” or “Cocaine” or “Crack” and read it again…
…Fucked up really is it not? A coke dealer can’t use that excuse when he goes to court can he?
“Your honour people only bought my concaine after they saw John Leslie & Kate Moss doing it in The News of the World…I was an innocent victim in this!”
“Fair enough, your free to go, case closed!”
I spent 9 years at JD Wetherspoons pubs. I hate them with my soul. But i always respected Tim for achieving what he had and to an unprecedented level. But now i’m afraid that I have nothing but contempt for you Tim. You have offically 100% sold out and joined the likes of Murdoch and Phillip Morris.
Shame on you sir.
Comedy Inc 