“Save the Planet”..NO, save me from the planet!

From the title of this blog you might think that this is gonna be some anti-hippy rant that critisizes, what i believe to be, pretentious bean eating cardigan wearers who try to force thier “idealistic delusions” onto everyone else……and you’re absolutely spot on!

However, this blog is not gonna focus on the actual issues surrounding the environment i.e. globa warming, rainforset etc etc. Likewise it won’t be an endictment on society or government behaviour/attitude and how it effects the world we live in today or the world we will live in tomorrow.

Instead I’d like to focus on the mission of these ecologically concerned, well meaning….cocksuckers. I want to complain about the mantra these people use to preach their message and attain thier overall goal. This mission can be summed up in 3 simple words….”SAVE THE PLANET!”

We’ve all heard it said before, in fact we’ve probably all said it before ourselves. It’s become one of those accepted phrases in modern society, a piece of standard rhetoric which rolls off the tongue with ease and can be injected into a conversation without ever being questioned or challenged by anyone ever. It’s like the words “War on Terror”, “Beans on Toast” or “Kill Gary Bushell”…we’re so used to saying and hearing “Save the Planet” that it’s become as big a part of our daily routine as having a shit or blinking…however, like having a shit, saying the words “save the planet” shouldn’t be allowed in public…it’s just not right and people don;t need to have such an act forced upon them against thier will…if they want to do it behind close doors with consenting adults then that’s fine by me…but i’m not gonna tolerate this anymore (saying save the planet, not having a shit)

Now before you start thinking that I’m suggesting that Global Warming doesn;t exist and the future is all rosy STOP! I’m not gonna do that. Niether am I gonna say “Fuck the planet, I’ll be dead long before all this shit gets out of hand!” whilst i am a self confessed “selfish bastard” who has little or no concern for anything or anybody that’s not me…I do have some respect in me…not much, but enough to stop me killing 6 million Jews or voting BNP just for a laugh. I have already written blogs (which if your a new subscriber are still on here for you to read) about my opinions on Global warming and my attitude to the different sides of the climate change argument and i have no desire to repeat or go over them again…at least not until i change my mind. It’s not the “saving of the planet” that i’m objecting to here, it’s people who that we need to “save the planet”…hear me out…

For anyone who wants to ” save the planet” i want you to consider the following pieces of information which i am about to share with you.

(n.b. the following collection of words are arranged and presented in a way that will offend and annoy anyone of a mental/intellectual disposition who thinks that The Bible, and not Science, is the most reliable source for the historical background of the world. I am not going to cater or compromise my writings so that rearded people can understand them…grow up or fuck off!)

The Planet is currently 4 billion years old (that’s a rough figure and as of yet the exact birthday of the planet cannot be confirmed). Now to put 4 billion years of history and to demonstrate how long humans have been around for in perspective for you, look at it this way; If the history of the earth, all 4 billion years, was compacted into a 24 hour period of time, human beings would not appear until 23 hours 58 minutes and 43 seconds had passed by…leaving us 1 minute and 17 seconds of time on earth…that means in the history of the earth human beings have only been around for 0.891% of the time. Now i don’t think that humans are THAT destructive…I know that we have a bigger impact on any environment that we inhabit more than any other species but I can’t believe that we can fuck up a 4 billion year old eco system in under 1% of the time…i could be wrong…but how often does that happen? (the answer is “Never”)

People are always blamed for killing off animals and wiping entire species of the face of the earth and condemning them to the history books. I’m not gonna say that we haven’t done that, of course we have. There are many animals and plants that, for one reason or another, are exstinct or endangered due to human beings either killing them on purpose or crushing thier environment…that’s totally true. But it’s not all our fault that animals have died out and gone extinct, in fact statistically 25 different species of living creature go extinct every single day…that’s more than one an hour! Funny how no-one ever moans or whines about them isn’t it? funny how it’s only the dolphin or panda or seal that gets all the press coverage…I hear people crying for the Whale but no-one ever protests on behalf of the depeltion of the Cod do they?…why is that? The other point on this is the fact that science (yes science, not the bible) has proven that of all the species that have existed throughout the entire history of the world…90%…thats 90% have become extinct….Now we didn;t fucking kill them all did we? NO! most of them died out before we were here for Christ sake! The dinosaurs didn;t get wiped out because they decided to all drive around in 4×4’s and Gas guzzling Land Rovers did they?…no, they ended up creating the oil which we humans use today…ironic or what?

Other facts about the earth’s history include the polar ice caps having already melted and reformed…….6 times! That’s a lot of melting and re-freezing in my opinion and certainly more than enough evidence to suggest that the current rising sea levels are not exactly the “Noahs Ark/Doomsaday/Revelations” shit that we are constantly told they are.

Underneath the Ice that makes up the arctic is a massive area of land that used to be a lush and tropical rainforest. Most of the animals that inhabited this jungle either died off or left as the temperature dropped. One of the animals that stayed there and adapted to the new sub-zero climate was…the penguin! Now ask yourself this; if a penguin can adapt from a tropical rainforest to a baron ice land of -120 degrees…surely humans can do the same? if not adapt physically then surely we can create something tha makes such a climate tolerable and easier to live in…it’s not beyond us surely? and if it is beyond us then can’t we accept our fate? Maybe our time is up…we’ve had a good run…well actually we haven’t seeing as we’ve barely existed for 1% of the Earths history BUT…my point is this…

…given this planets place in the solar system, it’s billion year old past, it’s constantly changing climate, it’s many interesting and extinct inhabitants and the fact that it’s a seriously massive fucking rock…what makes you think it needs “saving”?…why do you believe that the planet is coming to an end?…Are you worried that the changing climate will destroy the planet and remove it from existence completely?…cos if you are, you are seriously underestimating this planet.

You need to stop patronising this incredible round boulder that spins around the galaxy and realise, once and for all, that you can’t “save the planet” because it doesn’t need saving…I would bet anything and anyone on that fact…The planet does not need saving….

…The same cannot be said, howevber, for all the poor fuckers currently living on it! We’re the ones who are fucked my friends, we’re the ones that are coming to an end and we are the ones in dire need os saving!

I’m sure that if the dinosaurs had our intelligence, and ability to speak, then they also would have felt that they should help out mother earth. They too would have been running around campaigning for the government to do something to prevent that big fucking asteroid from hitting the earth and killing them all. Their government, like ours, would have introduced a series of ineffective stealth taxes to “help”. They would have had a massive concert called “Dino-Aid” in order to raise awareness and try to make a difference…they would have shouted and exclaimed that they, like us, were trying to “Save the Planet”…and even though they had very low intelligence and couldn;t do these things the dinosaurs, just like humans will do one day, died out completely without so much as a flinch from the planet…not a fucking scratch…what makes us so arrogant as to assume that when we die out the planet will collapse and evapourate into nothing?

Stop trying to “save the planet”…it’s fine…We are the ones that are 100% fucked!

That’s it from me. Hope you’ve learnt something and if you haven’t then i suggest you seek psychiatric help right away.

All the best Richard “4 miles to the gallon” Coughlan